Posted by: empoweryourlife | October 16, 2008

Does Your Past Predict Your Future

Does Your Past Predict Your Future?


Benjamin Bonetti

Whether you think it does, or you think it doesn’t- you’re probably right…

One of the major barriers to personal change – to personal growth – is the impact of our experience on our enthusiasm.

If you’ve spent the last 8 years failing to find your life partner – isn’t reasonable to assume that it’s not going to happen – or at least – that it’s going to be horribly difficult?

This is precisely why many people are sceptical about the idea that they can have the life they want, and they see those that say differently as opportunistic charlatans.

That seems reasonable – because they have the first-hand, incontrovertible evidence of their own lives to tell them that things don’t change – or that change is horribly difficult and something to be feared.

This is at the heart of personal growth.

Tony Robbins says: “The past does not predict the future – unless you live in it”.

That last part – “unless you live in it” is the key – because we all do. Couple that with another favourite quote of mine:

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got”.

So – if you continue to be the same person you were last year, then you can and should expect that this year will be pretty much the same.

If you look back at your record of jobs, wealth, health, fitness or happiness or whatever you’re interested in, then it’s actually REASONABLE to expect the same record for the future – IF (this is the key) IF you do now, what you did last year.

So the plan should be to do things differently. Understanding that is an essential step forward, but it’s depressingly not the whole solution.


To achieve what you want your going to have to leave your comfort zone and move into the “stretch zone”.

This is the ONLY zone where personal change happens. If you feel you want to do something, then you’re in your comfort zone – which is the wrong zone! You have to do the things you don’t want to do.

Examples of being in your stretch zone might be:

a. Wearing things which are just “NOT YOU” – after all, we want to change some aspects of what being you means

b. Changing jobs, “I am not telling or even suggesting you all go and find new jobs!”

c. Taking up an activity which “people like you” don’t do (but a part of you likes the thought of)

d. Smiling at people you don’t know (yet) or like.

e. Doing things which might develop into opportunities – MAKING CHANCES

f. Leaving a “bad” relationship.

g. Giving yourself a goal and doing everything possible to achieve it!


Making change like this is difficult – that’s why 99.9% of us never do it through choice. The major changes are thrust upon us – like serious illness, divorce, being fired, etc. But it’s important to accept that this is all in our heads, and so in principle – in our control.

In the NLP world we describe this as “Re-framing”. If you want this change, then you’ll have to work on it. Its not going to happen without doing something first.

You can choose to see it as a never-ending, doomed-to-failure, pointless, painful, but-there’s-no-other-game-in-town struggle until death.


You can choose to see it as a brave new adventure which could be intrinsically enjoyable, and during which wonderful things can and will happen (as well as a few bad ones, as we both now know). In practice, I guess you’ll see it as both at different times; you could try to see it in the second frame more often and you can choose (to some degree) to look forward more often that you look back (at your recent relationship break-up, for example).

“Don’t wish the world were easier, wish that you were tougher”.

If you believe that you would be happier living in “A Better World” then take advantage of our 30 Minute FREE Consultations.

CALL US NOW ON 0845 194 9644

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